This is the fourth and final of our guest posts on Approach Anxiety. Please let us know which one you like best!
Approach Anxiety – A Practical Guide to Overcoming This Feeling Quickly
Everyone feels it at one time or another – approach anxiety. It’s pretty simple really: It means that you are anxious or afraid to approach someone of the opposite sex.
This little guide can give you some simple suggestions of things to do before any encounter with someone of the opposite sex.
Before you leave the house:
- Take a shower and shave. – One of the most important parts of approaching someone is confidence. Being clean, neat and ready to talk to women is key. Take the time to do the little grooming that will make you feel more confident. Trim your nose hairs, pluck those long eyebrow hairs and make take the time to exfoliate. I know that some of this sounds a bit metrosexual. Tough! Brad Pitt and David Beckham might be metrosexual and spend a lot of time in the salon; they are also sleeping with famous, gorgeous, rich women.
- Dress in the way that makes you feel strong – Assuming you are dressing up for a night out, dress the way that you feel best. For some guys, it might be a suit. For others, a leather jacket and jeans. Just make sure that wear clean clothes and have no unintentional rips and tears.
- Find a wingman – Be careful and choose a wingman who understands that it is his role to back you up. You don’t want a guy who is going to run you over to hit on the girl you are talking to. Groups like this one, The Project Chicago Lair and the Chicago Wingmen, are great if you don’t have a wingman that you can count on. The best relationship is a dude that you can play wingman to later.
- What is a wingman? – In combat, a wingman is the guy who keeps his eyes in the skies for enemy aircraft. In life, a wingman is the guy who will handle the protective girlfriend, watch for boogers in your nose and keep you from going home with a girl with a $2 perm.
- Talk to sisters and/or gay friends – There are people in your world who can tell you what your strengths are and what your need to do to be cool. Ask them. Let them tell you the truth. You want to know if you have “terminal halitosis” (death breath) before you knock the girl of your dreams unconscious.
- Bars aren’t always the best place to find a girl – Libraries, bookstores, coffee shops and college classes are the kinds of places where women tend not to have their defenses up quite so high. Try to find places to meet girls where there aren’t 500 guys circling like sharks. If that means that you learn yoga or scrapbooking, oh well. It’s all about the babes.
These are only a few ideas, but these ideas can get you to first base with a woman. First base with women is not making out, like it is with teenage girls. First base is a decent conversation that leads to a few laughs and an exchange of phone numbers.
Get out there and get ‘em, killer!
One last note: Be yourself! You can act like an international spy for a night, but in the morning, she’s gonna know that you are a barista or a retail assistant manager. Be you and you won’t have to guess what to say next!